Looking at Fiji in Another Light

I’ve always had these wild dreams. Moving to a remote part of the world or to another big city different than Los Angeles. I’ve always known I’d leave my home town and all of my family and friends behind, in search of something better, something more me. Now I am 11 hours away by airplane, 19 hours ahead, living in a small town with less than 15 shops. And is this what I imagined it to be? Absolutely not. Is that a bad thing? Again, no.
When I came to Fiji, and even while attending training, I had these grand notions that I would be needed. That I would work on projects and organize camps. That I would change and impact the lives of my small community called Korovou. However, after almost reaching my year mark, I have come to the conclusion that this has not been my experience. I am not needed. Yet, I am merely an addition to a very resourceful and resilient group of people whom I continue to learn from.
This has been a difficult realization to accept. Traveling across the world and not feeling needed. And I admit that there have been times where I have sat and moped and questioned my purpose. But on the other side of it all, it is amazing to understand that before and after me, chicken sheds will continue to be built and fish ponds will flourish. That cyclone after cyclone houses will be rebuilt and villages will take in and care for individuals when a situation arises. That connections will be made and women will think up their own business to support and feed their family.
Again, has this been what I imagined it to be? Absolutely not. But it has been, and continues to be, an incredible learning experience. I continue to have an overload of emotions in response to trying to understand the actions of others,  and how culture comes into play. And I continue to have to step back and assess the situation. I continue to grow. I have let go of trying to control. I am learning to accept. I am learning the language and eating the local food. I am learning my role and where I fit in. And most importantly, I continue to laugh.

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